You know it’s going to be a good day when you catch an Uber to the cigar lounge. So yesterday I was shopping at Total Wine & More for tequila when I came across a tag that read, “Pairs well with cigars.” I’m not one to pair cigars with tequila, but what the heck; I’ll do it in the name of SCIENCE.

For this experiment (vision quest) I’m going to be pairing the tequila with some cigars that I’ve reviewed in the past. That way, I can compare the tasting notes and determine if the tequila makes me enjoy them more (hot take: tequila makes you enjoy everything more).

First Third

Without Tequila: Dark chocolate, macadamia nut, red pepper, ginger

With Tequila: tootsie roll, fig, red pepper, ginger, cherry

Right from the beginning, I miss whiskey. The tequila isn’t bad, but I don’t think the price point is justified AT ALL. On a positive note, the cigar has a lot more sweetness to it with the pairing. One glass down, on to the next.

Second Third

Without Tequila: macadamia nut, red pepper, caramel, vegetal earth

With Tequila: ginger, macadamia nut, tootsie roll, maple syrup

The trend of sweeter flavors in the cigar continues. Part of me thinks that’s because when I drink tequila I expect to take a bite of a lime immediately after. I’ve already decided that I’m not going to buy this tequila again. The cigar, however, is still very much enjoyable.

Final Third

Without Tequila: spicy dark chocolate

With Tequila: red pepper, chocolate

The tequila is still acting as a catalyst for a better cigar experience, but in a very polarizing way (I dislike this so much that this tastes amazing). Checking my previous notes, there’s not much difference in the cigar’s experience in this final third.

I still have some mediocre tequila left so it’s time for a slightly less sober second cigar pairing. LET’S GET WEIRD!

First Third

Without Tequila: red pepper, cream, anise, brown sugar, toasted sweet bread, milk chocolate, cherry

With Tequila: cream, vanilla cake, bread, anise

The tequila is starting to taste more acrid than insipid which is counter to what I was hoping. This new cigar is still standing up to the challenge, giving me even more faith in the cigar industry. Contrary to what I had envisioned, I’m enjoying this tequila less and less.

Second Third

Without Tequila: milk chocolate, red pepper, dutch baby

With Tequila: red pepper, cream

This cigar is performing exceptionally despite the lackluster pairing. I’d say more, but TEQUILA!

Final Third

Without Tequila: chocolate, salty pretzel

With Tequila: angel food cake, cream

I might stop drinking tequila after this. Man this sucks. I’m only halfway through the fifth and might just save the rest for emergencies (flesh wounds, break-ups, etc.). My eyes are watering with every sip of tequila. I have about a shot and a half left in my cup and it’s gonna last until the end of this cigar at least. Man, science is hard. Moral of the story, make your own pairings. Happy Cinco de Mayo, Noise.


Dom Cipponeri

Contributor at
Dom is also the founder of Cigar Analogies - an obscure review format that stems from his love of chickens, rock 'n' roll, and, of course, analogies.